


That One Time Stiles Laid an Egg

by rainlady



Series: Just Like in Health Class: Or Stiles and Peter's Guide to Raising a Magical Egg Baby [1]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack, I Am Super Serious About the Crack Level Guys, M/M, Multi, Pre-Slash, So Yes THAT much Crack, This is a Series about a Magical Egg Baby, so much crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-04
Updated: 2015-05-04
Packaged: 2018-03-29 01:18:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3876895
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainlady/pseuds/rainlady
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It all started when Stiles laid an egg.</p>
            </blockquote>





	That One Time Stiles Laid an Egg

**Author's Note:**

> So I spent a majority of yesterday fighting depression and anxiety and this fic was the result of trying to distract myself from that. It was supposed to be a one-off crack fic about accidental bonding and magical egg babies but it's morphed into a multiple part series with some seriousness seeping in. But not too much seriousness because it's still about Peter and Stiles having a magical egg baby together. I can't guarantee how quickly or often parts of this will come but...there will definitely be more. Because I am a silly, silly person.
> 
> This takes place in some magical place in time where Stiles is over 18 but everyone is still around in Beacon Hills and/or alive. It's mostly crack and doesn't have much to do with the actual series though some events might be mentioned as needed.

* * *

It all started when Stiles laid an egg.

To be fair Stiles doesn't think he actually physically produced the egg from within his body. He certainly doesn't remember giving birth to an egg. He'd just woken up one Sunday morning with the egg resting on the bed next to him.  But he'd experienced such a huge surge of *MINE* when he'd looked at it that he might as well have physically produced from within him rather than magically which was his first and best guess for how said egg had come into existence.

At any rate he knew absolutely positive that none of the others were ever going to let him live down the fact that he had produced an egg seemingly out of thin air and that they would always rag on him about how he'd laid an egg that one time so he was better off coming to terms with it sooner rather than later. As far as events in his life went since Scott had gotten bitten this didn't even rank in the top five weirdest anyway. The most life changing thing most definitely but the weirdest? Nope not even close to being the weirdest.

The egg was about the size of an ostrich egg, though maybe a bit bigger. It was a a more classical egg shape with a tapered top and rounded bottom and the exterior was rough with what looked to be colorful scales in alternating bands of goldish amber and silverish blue.  There was no movement from within the egg as he'd carefully transferred it from the bed and into a wicker basket he'd stolen from the downstairs bathroom linen closet.  (Because it just didn't seem right to tote his egg around in a cardboard box even decorated with superhero stickers as he had during his 8th Grade health class egg baby event.)

He'd then driven through town extra slowly and carefully with his precious cargo strapped next to him in the passenger seat of the jeep.  He'd quickly decided to forgo putting out a pack wide call and headed straight to Deaton's instead.  Deaton was most likely to have answers (not that he'd easily give them up) and most of the pack had been still recovering from the battle they'd engaged in the night before.  Besides Scott had been working a morning shift at the vet's office which meant that it was only a matter of time before the rest of the pack found out about it anyway.  

Scott was by far the biggest gossip to ever be a gossip.

Deaton had actually smirked when Stiles had presented his new addition.  Scott had blinked at him in confusion for about ten minutes before he'd burst into laughter, clutching his sides as Stiles had hugged the egg to his chest protectively and fought the urge to bare his teeth and growl at his oldest friend.

Deaton had then asked some specific questions about what Stiles had gotten into the night before:

Fighting witches under the almost full moonlight in a deep magical muddy sludge that had attempted to drag him under and drown him.  Peter had come to his rescue by pulling him up by the scruff of his neck, eyes burning blue, a dangerous growl in his throat, and extended claws biting into Stiles' skin as he pulled him in close.  Unfortunately for Peter, Stiles was completely out of it at the time (he'd only heard about the eye burning and growling from Scott later on) and was not fully aware of just who had grabbed him.  He had reacted defensively sinking his teeth into the nearest bit of flesh he could find which turned out to be Peter's wrist.  He'd bitten down hard enough to break the skin even with his dull human teeth.  Peter had reacted as any of the wolves probably would have the claws at Stiles' neck had grown long and sharp had sank deeply into the skin of the nape of Stiles' neck.  They were accompanied by blood and pain causing Stiles to cry out enough to draw Peter back from the edge he was skirting.  Stiles would undoubtedly have scars on his neck but it was better then having his head removed completely from his body which had probably been a likely out come had things continued.)

Deaton's smirk had only grown larger the longer Stiles had rambled.  Stiles had quickly felt dread twisting and growing in the pit of his stomach at the expression on the man's face. Clearly whatever had happened was something he wasn't going to like.  Of course rather then giving him any specific answers Deaton had simply given Scott the rest of the day off and told him cryptically he had a new bit of pack business to take care of.

So they'd put out the call and gathered everyone at Derek's loft (which continued to be the pack meeting place despite Derek's very vocal annoyance of.  It was his own fault that his place was more spacious then Scott's living room.) The rest of the pack reacted much the same as Scott had.  

Confusion followed by long bouts of loud intense laughter.

They'd gone even farther then that though.  Lydia and Allison had instantly began discussing plans for a baby shower that got more elaborate each time Stiles tried to protest against it.  While Jackson, Isaac and Erica had snickered and whispered together in a different corner. After catching Scott's amused expression Stiles had tried to strain to listen in on their conversation. That had only lasted until he'd managed overhear the words “maternity clothes“ then he'd tuned it out knowing he was better off not knowing until they sprung whatever it was they were planning on him.  Derek and Boyd had both just smirked at him even more then usual.

He hated them all.

To no one's surprise Peter had shown up an hour late.  It was usually hit or miss if he would show up to non-emergency pack meetings at all.  He'd arrived carrying a take-out drink tray with two drinks and a bag from Stiles' favorite coffee shop. His stomach began growling loudly at the reminder that he hadn't been able to grab breakfast that morning. What with waking up to finding an egg baby in his bed and needing to run out and figure out what the hell was going on and all of that. He glared at Peter who only smirked back and waved the bag teasingly in the air at him. Stiles' glare grew bigger when he realized that Peter was wearing his normal attire of a deep v-neck shirt with long sleeves but that the long sleeves had been pulled up to reveal that aside from a leather band on one wrist his arms were bare of everything including the bandages that had been covering his hand and wrist the night before. Meaning he'd already healed from the bite Stiles had given him while Stiles' wound burned angrily beneath the bandages still covering the back of his neck a reminder of how long it would probably take for him to heal from it.

Peter's smirk grew large and more direct as he more than likely correctly guessed what Stiles was thinking and the amount of anger and annoyance that was being directed his way. But the smirk died away instantly when he finally noticed the egg held in Stiles' arms.  His eyes flared blue and he took a step in their direction. Stiles wrapped his arms around the egg more protectively worried that Peter was going to hurt it but that thought fled almost as quickly as it entered his head.. Peter's eyes were not glowing at him in the normal dark and dangerously scary way they usually glowed at everyone. They were glowing at him in a way Stiles had never seen directed towards himself before.  It was soft and almost sweet and echoed the way Scott's eyes sometimes glowed at Allison when he thought she wasn't looking.

Peter made a soft noise which Stiles found himself echoing. Peter's eyes flared in response and the wound on the back of Stiles' neck thrummed in repose.  It seemed to be echoed from within the egg in his arms.

Peter started in his direction but was stopped when Derek appeared out of nowhere and stepped between them.  He made a strange sort of rumbled noise in the back of his throat which caused the rest of the room to grow still and quiet.  On alert.  Peter stopped in his tracks.  He made a responding noise back. It was soft and strained.  Stiles' heart thumped heavily in his chest.  Peter suddenly dropped the tray of drinks and the bag in his hands onto a table and then turned and fled from the loft like he had an entire army of hunters on his heels.

Stiles watched him go, his stomach twisting and sinking with confusion and strangely something that felt strongly of disappointment.  Before Stiles realized what he was doing he brushed past Derek and started towards the door he only stopped when Scott called out his name. He shook his head not even aware that his mind was feeling cloudy until he brushed the cobwebs away. To distract himself from the urge to follow after Peter he reached out and grabbed the discarded drink tray. The lease he deserved after all of this was some breakfast. He blinked in shock to discover that along with the thick harsh black coffee that Peter lived on the second cup was filled with more chocolate, sugar and whipped cream then coffee.  It happened to be Stiles' favorite drink of choice.  The fact that the bag was filled with a bagel done up just the way he liked it wasn't any less of a surprise.  His hands shook and his heart took up a violent flight in his chest.

The urge to chase after Peter returned full force.

Derek came up behind him and wrapped and arm around him.  As his hand made contact with Stiles' skin the wound on his neck began to burn.  Stiles let out a ragged pained breath as Derek pulled him back towards the couch.   He murmured something softly to Scott as they settled him down between them there.  Stiles couldn't make out what they were saying but took comfort in it anyway.

The pain in his neck faded to a thrum that was still echoing back to him through the egg nestled on chest.  He wasn't sure what any of this meant.  He had so many questions but when he opened his mouth to ask them he yawned widely.  Scott rumble-purred at his side and nudged him.  He let his eyes close suddenly completely exhausted.  For now he was willing to pretend that everything was simple and normal.

Though he had a feeling that nothing was ever going to be simple or normal again.

* * *  
TBC in Part 2 of the Series

**Author's Note:**

> I will warn that at this point I have no clear idea about exactly WHAT is inside that egg. I have some thoughts but it could go in any direction at this point. If you have any thoughts or suggestions that you think would fit them please let me know. I can't promise I will use them but...I will take any and all under consideration.


End file.
